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Regression, oh how I despise thee

    One of the big red flags of autism is regression.  Developmental regression is when a child loses an acquired skill. For example some children with autism will be developing on schedule and suddenly loose verbal skills. In a way I think this would be harder than the child that either never or very slowly develops these skills. Watching your child make gains and suddenly loose them has to be devastating
    We caught on to Alden's autism very early as he was missing milestones all along rather than meeting them and then regressing. That is not to say we haven't experienced regression of skills with him. We started resources for Alden before his first birthday. He was working with different teachers and therapists through the LISD. We pretty quickly noticed a pattern in his newly acquired skills. He would be starting to catch on to something and we would then miss sessions due to him being sick of scheduled days off and he would quickly loose what we had gained. It definitely felt like a one step forward and two steps back kind of things. Due to his need for consistency and routine he qualified for the 'extended school year'. Despite not yet being school aged, he was able to continue his services through summer hours all be it a much shorter schedule. This did seem to help Alden and our family. 
    As he continued to grow we found yet another pattern in skill regression for Alden. When our oldest son Jude approaches a growth spurt we can tell because he starts eating more, sleeping more and often complains of growing pains in his legs and feet. Alden seems to have a strange and almost opposite effect. He will eat all day long for a day or two and then live on little more than poptarts and an apple the next day. He will start spending the majority of his nights giggling and squealing jumping on his bed and throwing toys. And with everything else going on inside of him during these growth spurts, educational and behavioral gains seem to slowly slip back down the slide for a week or two. While those often feel like the longest two weeks of our lives, we have caught on to this trend and can suck it up counting down the days until he gets settled back in. Occasionally not only will he get back on track to where we left off but he will have gained a new skill!
    So about a month ago when we started seeing behavioral changes and that data tracking from his daily therapy started slipping, we braced for the growth spurt. Here we go again, it's rough but we know what it looks like and before to long we will come out fine on the other end. Well, one week turned into two, two into three and by week four I was crying in the directors office at the Center for Autism. WHAT were we going to do?!?!? What the heck was this!?
    Since starting at the Center for Autism in May he had been steadily made gains. By leaps and bounds at the beginning! But now I was watching all that hard work and the new kid we gained from all of that slipping away and I felt helpless to catch and pick him back up. As ALWAYS the wonderful ladies at the Center were right there with me holding my hand, wiping my tears and offering to help in any and all ways possible. They hadn't given up on my boy and they, understanding my exhaustion and frustration, were not letting me throw in the towel either. 
    There are plenty of variables that may have triggered this regression. Is it any one thing or person's fault? No, definitely not. But as the mother of a special needs child it is real hard to not let yourself fall into the deep dark hole of what if's. What if I had tried this instead of that, what if I took the ipad away from him 10 minutes sooner, what if I made him sit at the table 10 minutes longer, what if I hadn't craved cheeseburgers through my pregnancy, what if I didn't have PCOS, what if we hadn't had the boys so close together....I seriously could go on and on. Though I still have my moments of weakness, for the most part I have gotten much better at taking a step back and looking forward to where we are going, instead of dwelling on where we have been and things that can't be changed. 
    Moments like these we are once again reminded how blessed we are to have such an AMAZING support system or family, friends, church family and the awesome staff at the Center for Autism. All of these blessings for our little boy and family keeps us a float on this roller coaster journey. 

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