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You cant pour from an empty pitcher: Taking care of yourself so you can take care of everyone else

I've said it before and I will say it again WE ARE SO BLESSED. We have the best support system and if we hit a snag we quickly have people offering to help. The thing we aren't so good at, accepting that help. With that being said I'm am obviously no expert in taking care of myself. Whether it is an ice breaker when meeting new people or asked during an interview, I hate the question "what are your hobbies" hobby? Do people still have time for those?  I guess as I sit here typing I could now answer blogging is my hobby. It is something I enjoy and not something I HAVE to do. Well would you look at that I have a hobby!
    Aside from blogging my favorite go to "me time" is a long hot uninterrupted shower, a dinner date with a girlfriend, or snuggling up with several blankets and some junk food watching movies. I envy people who say running or the gym is their de-stressing 'me time'. I can't help but think they are lying, if we are being honest my list sounds way more fun don't you think?
    The problem is I do those things very rarely. I feel like I'm not as good of a friend as I used to be. I mean if one of them called and needed me I would be there in a second but I'm so out of the loop with their daily lives. I'm so thankful for my best and longest friend. We have such a history and so much love that we can go months without catching up and still pick up right where we left off.
    Movies are usually animated and if they aren't I don't get to them until after the kids are asleep so I'm doing good to stay awake for half of it. While I do shower daily....usually ;-) don't lie mom's we've all been there, it's all business. Get in, get clean, get out. If I'm in there more than 10 minutes it's while being serenaded by Jude while he sits on the toilet or Alden hurriedly disrobing yelling "shower, clean!" because he has decided he is sole owner of the shower and heaven forbid any one else use it!
    I have always been a people person. I remember not long after Jude was born Brandon was having a hard time understanding me and why I NEVER wanted to be alone. We were married, didn't he want to spend every waking second with me!?!? I remember at one point him saying he just needed some alone time every now and then. I was so hurt, that made NO sense to me. It wouldn't take me long to figure it out. By the time Alden was born I enjoyed getting groceries because it got me out of the house and I would take my sweet time to avoid any one needing me for just a few more minutes.
     Flash forward 7 years later and I still look forward to those few minutes I can steal. Even if it's just once a week; of being alone, still and quiet. Even just a couple minutes are hard to find daily!  A couple months ago I started massage school. I was terrified how I would balance everything I already do along with being a student. On the plus side, as a massage student I am getting fairly regular massages for the first time in my life. I have to tell you, that alone has done wonders for how I feel on a daily basis but that is a whole other post ;-) Something I am slowly (very slowly according to my husband) getting better at, is saying no. My plate is so full yet I keep coming up with ideas of other ways I can 'help' or saying yes to anyone else' suggestion or request for me. The thing I have slowly started to realize is through all of these efforts I spread myself so thin that I am no good to anyone! Worst of all I have emptied my tank and have no energy or patience left for my own family. That is no way to live, and in the end I'm doing the opposite of what I am seeking out to do. By then I'm not helping anyone. I'm am in fact no fun to be around at all.    
      So mom's, while saying no to another addition to your plate or sneaking away for a couple hours to catch up with a friend can feel selfish at the time.....think of it as maintenance. You wouldn't neglect a car by never filling it with gas or doing an oil change and expect it to keep running would you? Take care of yourself! And help your husband carve out that time for his self maintenance as well! You're a team remember.

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