Autism's (sometimes) Super Momma

    The day Alden was officially diagnosed with autism was tough. We already knew in our hearts, but something about seeing it in black and white cut pretty deep. Since then we have learned and grown so much. Alden has made great strides doing ABA therapy daily, but for the insurance to continue coverage we had to go through the diagnosis process all over again. We were chasing that golden ticket.       Jumping through hoops is a skill you learn fairly early on in the autism journey. I wonder if that skill is something I could include on a resume? I think it should be, just saying. I was so anxious about going through this process. There was no part of me that was worried he wouldn't get the golden ticket, he obviously still has autism. Imagine my surprise should my child be the first to 'outgrow' autism!  My anxiety came from the emotional roller coaster that comes with checking box after box that shows every deficit in your child's development. Watching him go throug

what a husbands sigh says to his wife In the words of Allison Krauss "you say it best, when you say nothing at all"  Ignoring the fact that this lyric is romantic in context of the song.....I mean it quite to the contrary.     My husband came home after a long days work and an hour or better drive home. First thing he does is wash his hands to get the kid cooties off that are inevitable when working with 23 kindergartners.  As the water runs between his fingers he tells me how happy he is to be home and how hungry he is. As he does this I am switching my fifth yes FIFTH load of laundry for the day. Just as I walk past him carrying a laundry basket over flowing with freshly cleaned laundry, he turns to where our hand towel is usually kept and wait for it......SIGH. The biggest, most dramatic exhale you have ever heard. Slight exaggeration, perhaps. Not the point. The point is, what I clearly heard him 'say' was "are you kidding me, no clean towel, what hav

where we were to where we are today      We had just celebrated Alden's 4th birthday. Like all mom's I struggled with the idea of my baby growing up. Having a child with autism though, birthdays can also be as struggle for a very different reason. It seems to remind you of missed milestones and you can't help but compare how you are preparing for your 4 year old's party to how a 'normal'  4yearr old would celebrate. This year I would be lying to say I didn't have any of those thoughts. However, I am happy to say that I got through his birthday for the first time since his diagnosis without having to hide and cry at some point. I truly believe it is because almost a year ago I decided to give up on Alden. Now before you call CPS please hear me out.      Alden was diagnosed just before his 2nd birthday. Brandon and I spent that first year researching, arguing, praying, stressing, and paying through the nose for someone to cure him. We needed someone to f

a mommy a singer an actress a teacher an athletic trainer a crime scene investigator  a day care operator     These were my answers to the question from age 4-18. I dare you to ask me today, keeping in mind I will be turning 30 this year. For the last 8 years I have been a mommy. Which was number one on my to-do list. I have cared for other kids while their mommies went to work but I have always struggled with what I was 'doing'. What was I doing to contribute to society, make the world a better place?      Don't get me wrong, staying home with kids full time was often MORE strenuous than the job I previously had working in a physical therapy office. And I don't (always) doubt my contribution to my children's lives and molding them into the kind, smart, loving gentlemen they are. I have just always felt like I should be doing more.     I had kept journals, more like scribblings really, when I was staying home with my first born. It wasn't until the bir