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Couldn't we ALL use a break from life: Respite Care

    Confession: I know little to nothing about respite care. So I thought documenting my learning experience may be helpful for those who may also eventually use this service. Before pursuing further information, I knew that respite care was a service available to families with special needs. Basically a state paid babysitter. Now all parents of young children need a babysitter from time to time. Maybe for the elusive date night with my hubby, a girl could dream right. Despite the annoyance of trying to find a babysitter available and having to pay for their service above and beyond the expense of whatever your plans may be; special needs families have the added burden of finding a babysitter uniquely qualified to deal with whatever the special need may be. Also because of the need for higher qualification comes extra cost.
    I wont get into the numbers, but if you ever get bored you can find sufficient research on how the stress of raising a child with special needs can effect your mental/physical health, marriage and family so having such a resource available is greatly appreciated. Couldn't we all use a break from real life every now and then? Now like any other service there are plenty of hoops to jump through. Locally you start this process by contacting the Community Mental Health Authority. I told them I was interested in getting information about respite care services for my son with autism. The woman who answered was very kind and took some basic info. By the end of the call she scheduled us for an intake assessment. I was told Alden would need to be with me and it could take up to an hour. I was disappointed this would mean I needed to pull Alden out of his ABA therapy but it would just be this once.
    When we arrived for our appointment I was a little taken back by the environment of our local establishment. It is far from warm and welcoming.  We were eventually called back and taken into a small office for further paper work intake. We were then lead down a long winding hall and escorted into a small, cluttered and dark office. The man was nice enough but after a few minutes he explained that his job is usually to decide if the child does in fact have autism or not. I couldn't believe that his and my time had been wasted when I have several official documents stating my sons diagnosis. He told me I would need to schedule the assessment with one of their social workers and she would be able to tell me how many hours Alden qualifies for and further answer any questions we had. We left annoyed at the wasted trip and future appointment that would require Alden again missing therapy,
    Despite my best efforts, our follow up appointment also had to be made during Aldens therapy hours. It was a horribly nasty day, thunderstorms in January, and Alden was already having a bad day. We make our way through the flooded parking lot. Eventually we were introduced to 'our' social worker. We followed her down the hall to her office and as soon as we are seated she says, "so what would you like me to know about Alden" instantly infuriated, I explain everything that I have already written on intake paper work and discussed at the previous appointment. Then she thanked us for our time and hands us her card to schedule an in home assessment at a future date where, you guessed it, Alden will once again need to miss therapy!
    I'm sure this will be a valuable tool for our family so we will begrudgingly continue this lengthy process. I fore warn other families that this, like so many other parts of your autism journey, will be a time consuming and aggravating process but in the end its for the greater good. We look forward to reconnecting during a desperately needed date night. Also the opportunity to spend some special time with Jude doing any of the things he enjoys but we are unable to do as a family because of Alden's preferences and limitations. If respite care is a resource you feel your family could make use of I suggest doing plenty of your own research online. You jump through all of these hoops but ultimately you're the one responsible for finding your respite care provider. Also plan ahead for the several appointment that your child will also have to attend. Had I known this I would have waited until there was a break in his therapy schedule. If you have questions you can leave them in the comments below and I will do my best to answer them for you. Or you can call the Lenawee Community Mental Health Authority at 517-263-8905 or find them online at LCMHA.org

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