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You're Talking my Love Language

    WHEW, it has been a crazy week in the VanEtten home and in the calm after the storm I have been doing some reflection. I quickly decided I couldn't get through this crazy life with out my best friend by my side, every step of the way. It doesn't hurt he's not bad on the eyes either if you know what I mean ;-) Brandon knows by now how I respond to the chaos and when to encourage me to keep trucking and when to just hold me; not saying a word. Not trying to help for fix anything for me, just let me be still and sad or grumpy or whatever I'm feeling at that moment.
    When we were first married a friend gave us a book called the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It is really interesting insight and I encourage you to check it out. You can even take the
free love languages quiz online by clicking HERE.  Your love language could be words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts or quality time. Now sure, I enjoy all of these things but my highest scores are in words of affirmation and physical touch. Brandon's love language is quality time and physical touch. By knowing your spouses love language you can better meet their needs.
    My tank was running on E. I was exhausted mentally, emotionally, physically.....you name it. On top of all of that I had to pull it together to sit in class from 6-10pm. Thankfully we got out a little early and when I walked, more like crawled to the bedroom at 9:40 Brandon was still awake and immediately turned off the video game he had been playing. Pulled back the covers and reached his arms out to me. I collapsed into the bed and worked my head into my 'spot' on his chest where if I turn my head just slightly my nose goes right in the side of his neck and I can breathe him in. This is my safe, happy place. In that moment I appreciated him more than I could ever put into words. I try to make it a regular practice to tell him how proud I am of him and how appreciated he is (words of affirmation ;-) but right now, I needed to be still and quiet. He must have known that too because all he said was. "I love you honey" with a soft kiss on the head. He didn't try to fix anything for me. He was strong for me even in silence while I melted into him and quickly off to sleep.
    There are unfortunately many single parents going through this autism journey. We haven't always been and still aren't always on the same page.  All of stressors and unique dynamics of raising a child with special needs wear on a marriage. All marriages take work, ours has been no exception. During times of trial I am so thankful we have our faith and the grace of a loving God to bring us back together. God knows: "two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

    So, thank you Brandon, for being my best friend. Laughing and crying with me. Being strong when I'm falling apart and figuring out what and what not to say ;-) I couldn't do this parenting....heck, LIFE! without you. And thanks for remembering my love language XOXOXO

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